| Sunday, January 4, 2009 |
because now MTT(my cell leader cum ex teacher) is no longer my cell leader...i am like -_- why a timing now, when i am like at the peak of things...i seriously cannot take another person as my leader...i know many adults have been hinting me of this...but i just don wan2 face it, MTT has like watched me grow from i was like 13...he know what is best for me...and would have already know all my "chao kuan" (my nonseanse)... now...i know you are taking on a BIGGER role...but then, i really donno how to move on and take up this challenge, even if you are going to go overseas for like 2 weeks i also will like sad...now u are like not going to be our leader, although will still see you, but i doubt we will be as close...how to be close...when like u got so many other things to handle?? i wouldent even dare to talk to you... i really am in a LOST now, although i know we are going to church and putting our faith in God, but now my closest member in church aka my spiritual father is going on to take a BIGGER role, am i like suppose to find another person to take tt place...NO WAY...i cannot accept it... No one can replace that role model in my spiritual walk...but i guess this was how he felt when Ps Seng Lee had to go away, i guess he felt even worst, Ps Seng Lee is no longer in church, but although he is still in church, i think i would still feel very uneasy in this new cell...i tell you i will not feel comfortable, even so i will take like MILLIONS of years to over come this uneasiness... No more Friday cell @ Chai Chee led by MTT, no more after service time with MTT, no more no more no more..... Why He seated up cannot take charge of one cell group, i really damn sad now, i got totally no mood for anything, so what if he is still in church, but then we wouldnt see him in cell group, and now we are all not directly under him liao...what is this man.... A man who have seen me grown for the past 4 years, now is going to be replaced by a man who i barely could understand...a man who like i cannot respect as a leader YET, a man who i don really know what is his heartbeat....i know i know many will say , " Starting you also donno what is MTT's heartbeat what" but then it is different he was the one who taught me about Jesus, and the one who guided me along with Jesus...i donno how to say but it is just irritatiing...why kenneath cannot just take up the role or smth... i donno i donno i don wan to know.... Labels: feeling are all jumbled |
| (未来巨星) has scribbled 12:47 AM |
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 JONATHAN LEE  |
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